Bismillah.

Kinda clueless on how to start this one. Well, if we're talking about my favourite book, I wouldn't know for sure to be honest. I mean, I've read many books, so how am I supposed to pick one? How can you choose?

I've got a lot of books I've loved, hated, did not finish, cringed, and 'loved but then i hated it the second time i read it'. But when talking about favourites, which also correlates to love, I do have a few in my mind.

Let me present to you....... one of my top 10 best favourite books of all time. 

The title is so fetch, I know.

I remember buying this book during Big Bad Wolf at my hometown. It was my first BBW so I was rambang mata on what to buy because there's just too many books!

Came across this one and I immediately fell in love with the title. Well it's not everyday you see a book that gives off "hey you wanna kill your life? no not yourself. i mean your life. here's some tips" kinda vibe. It's literally giving "i'm a bitch and i'm hot and sexy".

So I paid at the counter, went home and read the book, and once again was shocked and fell in love all over again.

To talk about this book I have to introduce you to the author. This book is a memoir, or what some would call an autobiography fiction. The author, Cat Marnell, is a fashion and beauty journalist. In the early part of the book, we got to know the childhood story of Cat. She has a sister, and parents who are also happen to be psychiatrists. 

Now, this book receives so much criticism and applause due to the open views and sharing on her being a drug addict. Readers would learn how she started from being a top academic scorer - to getting expelled - to landing a job at beauty magazine - to getting rehab - to back at work again - and relapse - and suicidal - and finally getting better living with her parents again. Add all kinds of drugs to her life equation; soft drugs, hard drugs, and boom congratulations! You have learnt about Cat Marnell's life.

To escape her abusive dad, she went to a boarding school. At first she find it hard to keep up with the study. Until one of her friends introduced her to Ritalin (a type of ADHD drug). She started asking her father for the drug to keep her academic performance. And this was how she started getting involved with drugs.

Later in her adult life, she met friends whom have furthered influenced her in the nightlife, club, and of course, hardcore drugs. But she landed a good job. She was talented in networking and journalism and lucky her, she got a job at a beauty magazine. However, she soon failed to manage her busy work properly as the drug had influenced her too much. She struggled to juggle between drugs and work, work and drugs. Finally, she succumbed to her boss and parents' persuasion to attend rehabs. Until as of 2022, she is doing much better.

One of the scenes that stuck in my mind the most is during her time as Associate Beauty Editor. She appeared at work in the morning with messy hair, sunken eyes, feet bleeding from stepping on shards of glass (i don't remember how the incident happened), wearing ballerina shoes, and yes, definitely a little high. Everyone looks in her direction with concern but she waved them off saying she's definitely fine.

This book is on my top 10 list for a few reasons.

1) It introduces me to drugs (lmaooo don't take this in a negative way). But really. I knew more about Ritalin, Adderall, and that you COULD NOT supposed to be addicted to Adderall (but she did). 

2) Friends have a huge influence. Cat met awesome people when she moved to NYC, but she also become friends with the wrong group. One friend introduces her to nightlife, another shares their drugs, another taught her how to get the most 'highest' feeling with mixing alcohol and drugs and even robbed her apartment. I have to say, her life would be better had she befriended the right circle.

3) She did good. She fall into the darkness, she fought her way back, she relapsed again. But the important thing is she didn't give up. Sure, she messed up a lot. But she also realized that and reached for help. Inspiring woman.

4) The writing was good. Once you read it, you cannot put it down. Trust me.

I believe that's it for this entry. I've written a lot, and I'm happy everyone gets to know about Cat Marnell. Till then, byebyee! :))