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     Bismillah.




    Title: Earthlings
    Author: Sayaka Murata
    Translator: Ginny Tapley Takemori
    Genre: Contemporary
    Published: 2018
    Rating: 5 stars



    TRIGGER WARNING: mention of sexual assault/gore/abuse/childhood trauma

    I loved Convenience Store Woman so much, that I ended up reading another book of Sayaka Murata. The most memorable thing about her books are complicated, twisted characters that you couldn't help but feel drawn to.


    **this part might contain spoiler**

    In this book, we follow the journey of the narrator, Natsuki since she was 11 years old. She was sexual abused by her teacher, the least liked in her family. She was everything lesser than her older sister. Nothing she did seems right, whether studying hard at school or just being quiet in the house.

    Every year, she always look forward to spending the summer in her grandma's house in the mountains of Nagano. Her cousin, Yuu, also mentally abused by his mother after losing his dad, was the only one nice to her. Convinced both of them were aliens stuck on this Earth, they married each other and promised to survive until the next time they see each other again.

    Some things happened and after that, Natsuki wasn't allowed to go back to Nagano.

    Things didn't get easy when she grew up either. Being an 'alien', it's hard to fit into the human species. People said she needed to get married. So she went on the internet, find a contractual husband and got married. Then soon enough people asked when are you going to have kids? 


    I was attracted to the cover. Such a cute hedgehog, what harm could it bring? But of course, it wouldn't be Sayaka Murata if the characters are not **slightly not right up in the head**. 

    The usage of first person POV as the voice of the book was excellent, as it highlights the way Natsuki saw this world. At first I thought this book was just a cute first love/childhood story.... it turns out 360 degrees totally different. Really, whatever expectation you have in mind, it's the opposite of it. 

    I particularly loved when the reality and fantasy world became intertwined (the teacher scene almost killed my sanity), the distinction faded away, making me question what the hell did i just read, reading the same parts over and over again just to make sure my brain was right.

    When trying to fit into the human society was becoming too much, Natsuki, her husband and Yuu went back to Nagano, trying to escape the society. The ending was beyond shocking, and almost too cruel to read. But it was addicting, watching how Natsuki went from an innocent girl with cute imaginary world to an adult who...... well, mentally not right. As it is written in first person POV, as I have mentioned earlier, it was thrilling to listen to her inner voice and her brain. 

    As for the parts that I don't like about this book............. well, I couldn't think of any. Strong premise, complex characters, excellently written plot, jaw-dropping ending. What more could a reader ask for?





    Definitely recommended. Everyone should definitely read this at least once in their life (trigger warning still applied).



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    Bismillah.



    Title: Convenience Store Woman

    Author: Sayaka Murata

    Synopsis (copied from Goodreads): 

    Convenience Store Woman is the heartwarming and surprising story of thirty-six-year-old Tokyo resident Keiko Furukura.

    Keiko has never fit in, neither in her family, nor in school, but when at the age of eighteen she begins working at the Hiiromachi branch of “Smile Mart,” she finds peace and purpose in her life. In the store, unlike anywhere else, she understands the rules of social interaction―many are laid out line by line in the store’s manual―and she does her best to copy the dress, mannerisms, and speech of her colleagues, playing the part of a “normal” person excellently, more or less. Keiko is very happy, but the people close to her, from her family to her coworkers, increasingly pressure her to find a husband, and to start a proper career, prompting her to take desperate action.



    Personal Review [contain spoilers]:

    This book tells the dark reality of our society from the perspective of Keiko Furukura. She was a strange one, always the odd one in the world full of 'normal' people. She lived her life by manuals. It wasn't specified in the novel, but it is possible to assume she might be somewhere on the autistic spectrum.

    In our society, it would be considered she is weird, she couldn't understand why people buried the dead bird when they could've eaten it instead. She hit the boys in her class with a shovel when other people screamed to stop them fighting so ever since then she kept her mouth shut. She thought it was better that way. Her thoughts and actions didn't seem to align with 'normal' people.

    So what did she do? She started to reject herself, forced to keep her mouth shut. No unasked opinions, no thinking at all. Just follow as all the other people do.

    There was never a place that makes her feel enough nor wanted until she land herself a part time job at the convenience store. Being a store worker is easy. Just follow the manuals given and she'll be fine. When it's a rainy day, the sandwiches and onigiris sell faster. When it's hot people would want to buy cold drinks so be sure to stock enough of them on the fridge. This was her place. Finally, a place she belongs to. A place anyone wouldn't be able to figure her odd self.

    Now, 18 years later, still at the same job, the social pressure started to sink in as she realized store workers are replaceable. If we are 'broken' or considered no longer useful for the store, we would have gotten sacked. She feared her time would soon come. 

    When she met Shiraha, a lazy, self-victimizing guy who gaslighted her into living rent-free in her apartment, she started receiving compliments from others around her for the first time. 

    "You got a boyfriend? Finally!"
    "I thought it was strange how you never fall in love. I knew you could do it!"

    At this point of the story, I was frustrated with her but I know it wasn't her fault. Shiraha was living off her minimum wage. She worked everyday even on the weekend to earn more money for the both of them while that asshole guy slept and watched movies all day.

    Of course in real life, you'd seen this type of guy very often. So typical description of what Malays called 'biawak hidup'.

    At first, letting Shiraha lived off her and going around telling others that she was finally living with a man, people complimented her and she once again felt safe and fit the society standards. Then, trouble started rolling in as it turned out Shiraha was not only a lazy guy, but he also didn't pay for his previous rent, a narcisstic, lied about their relationship and even looked down on Furukura. I was PISSEDDD because bij, look in the mirror pls.

    But of course Furukura didn't mind that guy because in her mind, it was necessary to keep him around for her to fit into the society.

    Finally, the final plot of the story, Shiraha told her to resign and find regular jobs that could feed both of them (the audacity???). She did as he told. Since then, she felt like losing her purpose of life. All her life, for 18 years, she dedicated her body and time for the convenience store. She kept her nails short and hair in natural colour. But now she didn't know when is the right time to go to sleep. She only got up from her bed to eat.

    When she finally went out after weeks of staying at home for a job interview, she saw a convenience store nearby. She went in, and there it goes: the smell, the tills, the sandwich and bread displays, the fridge. For once, not according to life manual or society standards, she decided for herself, that she wanted to get a job as a store keeper. 




    The ending was super nice. We saw how pressured she felt as she had to present her 'normal' self in front of others. When she finally broke free from it, I was TEARFUL. I can't believe I was rooting for a fictional character this much.

    Rating: 5 STARSS DEFINITELYYY

    The writing style is very simple and on point. This was my first time reading Sayaka Murata, and honestly, I love it so much. It fits perfectly with this kind of character, who doesn't think much and only say the necessary stuffs.

    I'm looking forward to read more of her works ^^


    Recommended? YESSS PLEASE GO READ IT YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED.

    Honestly, being an adult is hard. As we went on with the flow of life, sometimes we don't know what path should we take nor if we are doing it correctly. Will people be satisfied if I earn this much? Is it okay if I stay unmarried for the rest of my life? As we get older these questions are unavoidable. We kept questioning ourselves, losing faith in everything. This was the issue the author wanted to address on. 



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     Bismillah.


    The first time I've heard about this book was from an interview video of Lee Nadine, a gorgeous Harvard-student-alias-influencer who starred in the infamous Korean dating variety show for single people; Single's Inferno. She captured the viewers' hearts with her graceful and classy attitude, a demeanor befitting her brilliant mind. When asked about her favourite book, she answered it enthusiastically, even saying she had read it four times.

    As she was my idol during that particular time, and also certainly my favourite participant in the show, it was no wonder that I searched the book up on the internet, and quickly added it to my TBR-list.

    I meant to read it sooner. However, there were too much of adulting stuffs going on for me at that moment, thus the priority hereby went to the soon-to-be-due-assignments, group projects and meetings. It was hard for me to actually sit down and have my own 'me time'. I finally had the time to read the book after literally wrestled myself to it.




    Title: When Breath Becomes Air

    Author: Paul Kalanithi

    Genre: Autobiography, Memoir

    Date of Published: 12th January 2016

    Page Count: 256

    Publisher: Random House


    The book started with a prologue; a 30-year-old-something Paul was flipping through his CT scan images, dressed in not his usual white coat, but a patient's gown. As an accomplished final year neurological resident at Stanford, he knew at the first glance of what it was. Six months before, he started experiencing the symptoms: losing weight and ferocious back pain. 

    He continued to tell the story in his point of view. The first part of the story recounts on his glorious days before he discovered he had stage four lung cancer. In the second part, Paul narrates his story and his views on life, as both a doctor and patient. The book ended with an epilogue, written by his beloved wife, Lucy.

    No words could describe how reading this book was literally a life-changing experience. It got me sobbing on my knees, screaming my heart out and undoubtedly left me questioning my life decisions.

    Seriously though, how could a book make you cry THIS MUCH? The only time you would find me not crying would be from that one scene when Paul became a spider man-which was not in this universe-so nope, no no-crying happened. (ugh do u get it?)

    To read this book is to read about a great man who achieved everything in his life, dying with his family by his side, on his journey to face death. It is also equally important to read in this beautifully-written memoir about the resilience and what makes life meaningful enough to go on living. Paul, in writing his story not just as a cancer patient but also how he saw life as before and after the devastating news. Before the news he was always a strong man, doing surgeries for tens of hours and dedicating life to medicine. But what happens after he started to feel those pain? The kind of pain he really knew about (after all, his patients used different words to describe it) but he never actually knew what it felt like. What happens to life after cancer changed his world. It was a long haul, long struggle full of tears and pain and therapy. His story reminds us that in chasing for our dreams, don't forget to look back and walk shoulder-to-shoulder, fingers interlocked with your loved ones, for no one can tell the future.

    Some of the excerpts/quotes I figured would you even more intrigued about the book:









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      Bismillah.




    Kinda clueless on how to start this one. Well, if we're talking about my favourite book, I wouldn't know for sure to be honest. I mean, I've read many books, so how am I supposed to pick one? How can you choose?

    I've got a lot of books I've loved, hated, did not finish, cringed, and 'loved but then i hated it the second time i read it'. But when talking about favourites, which also correlates to love, I do have a few in my mind.

    Let me present to you....... one of my top 10 best favourite books of all time. 





    The title is so fetch, I know.

    I remember buying this book during Big Bad Wolf at my hometown. It was my first BBW so I was rambang mata on what to buy because there's just too many books!

    Came across this one and I immediately fell in love with the title. Well it's not everyday you see a book that gives off "hey you wanna kill your life? no not yourself. i mean your life. here's some tips" kinda vibe. It's literally giving "i'm a bitch and i'm hot and sexy".

    So I paid at the counter, went home and read the book, and once again was shocked and fell in love all over again.

    To talk about this book I have to introduce you to the author. This book is a memoir, or what some would call an autobiography fiction. The author, Cat Marnell, is a fashion and beauty journalist. In the early part of the book, we got to know the childhood story of Cat. She has a sister, and parents who are also happen to be psychiatrists. 


    This is a story of her life as a drug addict.

    Now, this book receives so much criticism and applause due to the open views and sharing on her being a drug addict. Readers would learn how she started from being a top academic scorer - to getting expelled - to landing a job at beauty magazine - to getting rehab - to back at work again - and relapse - and suicidal - and finally getting better living with her parents again. Add all kinds of drugs to her life equation; soft drugs, hard drugs, and boom congratulations! You have learnt about Cat Marnell's life.

    To escape her abusive dad, she went to a boarding school. At first she find it hard to keep up with the study. Until one of her friends introduced her to Ritalin (a type of ADHD drug). She started asking her father for the drug to keep her academic performance. And this was how she started getting involved with drugs.

    Later in her adult life, she met friends whom have furthered influenced her in the nightlife, club, and of course, hardcore drugs. But she landed a good job. She was talented in networking and journalism and lucky her, she got a job at a beauty magazine. However, she soon failed to manage her busy work properly as the drug had influenced her too much. She struggled to juggle between drugs and work, work and drugs. Finally, she succumbed to her boss and parents' persuasion to attend rehabs. Until as of 2022, she is doing much better.

    One of the scenes that stuck in my mind the most is during her time as Associate Beauty Editor. She appeared at work in the morning with messy hair, sunken eyes, feet bleeding from stepping on shards of glass (i don't remember how the incident happened), wearing ballerina shoes, and yes, definitely a little high. Everyone looks in her direction with concern but she waved them off saying she's definitely fine.

    This book is on my top 10 list for a few reasons.

    1) It introduces me to drugs (lmaooo don't take this in a negative way). But really. I knew more about Ritalin, Adderall, and that you COULD NOT supposed to be addicted to Adderall (but she did). 

    2) Friends have a huge influence. Cat met awesome people when she moved to NYC, but she also become friends with the wrong group. One friend introduces her to nightlife, another shares their drugs, another taught her how to get the most 'highest' feeling with mixing alcohol and drugs and even robbed her apartment. I have to say, her life would be better had she befriended the right circle.

    3) She did good. She fall into the darkness, she fought her way back, she relapsed again. But the important thing is she didn't give up. Sure, she messed up a lot. But she also realized that and reached for help. Inspiring woman.

    4) The writing was good. Once you read it, you cannot put it down. Trust me.


    I believe that's it for this entry. I've written a lot, and I'm happy everyone gets to know about Cat Marnell. Till then, byebyee! :))











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     Bismillah.

    P18 (for people 18 years old and above only)

    Trigger Warning: nudity, graphic, suicide

        It was my first time in Mytown Kuala Lumpur the other day, some time around June. My friends and I went there after tiring ourselves out at the Energy Asia 2023 Exhibition in KLCC. Had a fun and wonderful time wandering around and chit-chatting with company executives and picking up the goodies they gave out. The atmosphere was buzzing and lit and full of striking decorations.

        Being my usual booknerd, I knew that I just had to visit the Bookexcess store. To my surprise, it was nothing like any of the bookstores I had seen before. It was stunning and perfect, like the way you walk down on the aisle on your wedding day and thought the peony flowers are just rightly placed and in just the right colours.






        There was an abundance of books I was dying to buy them all. But hey, girlie here is a broque student therefore only one book is allowed to make it through the counter so I don't have to eat instant noodles for the rest of the month.

        From literature and arts, to religions and cultures, to sports and music and crimes and young adults and children books, they have it all. It was truly spectacular!

        It was truly difficult to choose a book that fits my liking at that particular moment. Alas, I did pick up four to five books, read the summary, Googled it up, and finally pick one and put the rest of them back on the shelves.

        So I settled for this one book: The Reader by Bernhard Schlink.


        It was originally written in German language, then it got famous worldwide and finally translated into various languages; one of them being in English, and one of the copies in my hand. I had long forgotten what charm does this book has over me in the first place that I decided to buy it. But do I regret buying this book? Well, stay tune I guess.

        The book was written in three parts, all of them from the point of view of the main character, Michael Berg.

        Part One - It started with the flashback of Michael as a 15-year-old boy who felt sick when he was taking a walk around the neighbourhood. He threw up near a building. An older woman helped him, clean his face and the vomit and sent him home. Later, the doctor diagnosed him with hepatitis and he was sick for months. When Michael got better, he bought flowers and went back to the woman's house to thank her. The lady invited him in and asked him to wait outside while she got changed. Through the cracked hole of the door, Michael peeped (like the pervert he is) and got caught by her. He ran away. 

        A week later, he went there again after he had dreamed perverted dreams and thought perverted thoughts over the lady's body and his sister (yes you read it right. His own sister). Once again, the lady, named Hanna or German name: Frau Schmitz invited him in, had him helped her with her groceries, which somehow, the coal dust ended up covering over his face. Hanna told him to take a bath. Next scene is, what I wouldn't prefer to write, but I had to in order to get my points across. They made love and their love affair started from there.
        
        Michael would go to Hanna's house almost everyday, their routine would always almost stayed the same. He would read her books, bathed together and made love. Mind you, Hanna was 36 years old meanwhile Michael was 15 years old. Their affair went on and on without anyone knowing, until Hanna left the neighbourhood later. 

        Part Two - Michael became a law student. He met Hanna again, this time, him as a law student attending a trial seminar as audience and Hanna as one of the defendants guilty of the death of women prisoners in the recent fire. The time settings was set after the World War II, when people who conspired against the Jews were deemed guilty. The crime Hanna was accused of was letting tens of Jewish women camp prisoners burnt to death in a locked church building. She worked as the camp guard along with a few other defendants. Questions after questions were asked, judges throwing nasty glances, evidences were presented, the defendants pointing fingers at each other. 

        One of the scenes that piqued my interest and managed to keep me reading was the scene when the prosecutor asked the defendants why they didn't unlock the door when the church started burning down. There were a lot of different answers given, but Hanna's was that they had no alternative. People were hurt badly, screaming and crying in pain. Some of the people-in-charge were sent to hospital while some of them already flocked away from the scene. Her justification was unlocking the door would only bring more chaos. 

        At the end of the second part, the decision was made. Hanna was sentenced to life while the other defendants got many years in jail.

        Part Three - After the trial, Michael continued his life as usual. He married his girlfriend, blessed with a daughter, and later got divorced. He sent Hanna recorded tapes of him reading books. In the later years, Hanna finally learnt to write. On her 18th year of serving sentences, Hanna's appeal was approved. The jail warden wrote to Michael about it, as he was the only contact Hanna got from the outside world. The warden asked him to visit her, which he only did a week before Hanna's release. When he met her, long gone the beauty he once loved. What was left in front of him was Hanna in the face of older woman, with wrinkles and crinkles. Slightly fat body and unalluring clothes. Hanna greeted him with excitement lit up on her face, to which he didn't give back the same excitement. 

        A day before the release, they talked over the phone. Their conversation was short. Michael realized the youth in her voice stayed the same. And the next day, on her release, Hanna hanged herself. Michael went to her cell, as requested by the warden, picked up her stuff and money she left as a will. In her will, the mention of Michael was kept short. Instead, she requested him to give the money to the daughter who survived the fire. He did it a year later, though the daughter refused the money and asked him to donate to any charity organizations instead. He did, to the Jewish Against the Illiteracy Organization. They sent a thank-you letter under the name Hanna Schmitz. The book finally ended with: 

    With the letter in my pocket, I drove to the cemetery, to Hanna's grave. It was the first and only time I stood there. 



        I almost DNF'ed the book at the first part. Being a conservative myself, I don't find it interesting to read an illicit, sexual grooming affair between a fully grown woman and a teenager. Call it love or whatever, but I call it grooming and pedophilic. Both of them knew it was wrong. It was not love. I become more convinced about this later in the book. A lot of instances were proven in Michael's relationships as he had difficulties to make them work due to his 'love' for Hanna. He also mentioned how alluring the way Hanna put on socks so he asked his girlfriends to do the same but none of them make him felt the way Hanna did.  

        The second part was interesting. That was enough to kept my attention. There were a lot of questions arose, self-principles being challenged, and hard truths that knock my head like a solid stone. 


    When Michael went to see the nearest concentration camp, he hitched a truck on the way. The driver asked his purpose. He told his story and why he couldn't understand what Hanna did. He wanted answers. The driver replied as above image.



        
        During one of the trials, questions arose on which of the defendants wrote the report. Hanna defended herself but no one believed. The judges agreed that everyone should write and they would call over a handwriting specialist to analyze over it. Hearing this, Hanna immediately admitted it was her doing.

        Michael didn't realize this at first. When he went back to his dorm and pondered, he realized that Hanna was illiterate and in fact, couldn't read nor write. This thought occured to him after he remembered an old memory from Part One, one which he left Hanna in the morning of their holiday with a note, saying he went out for a while to buy her flowers, only later to come back to find Hanna was crying madly. The note he left on the table was nowhere to be seen. It was weird that the note suddenly gone but he didn't think much of it until later.

        I think about this ocassionally. What was Hanna's reason for not admitting she couldn't write? If she admitted it, her sentences would be much lighter. Is being illiterate that much of a shame? Or was it that she wanted to appear pretty and perfect in front of her lover, that she was willing to give up her freedom? If she admitted it, yeah it would probably bring shame, but hey, long-term-wise, she had her chances at life. 

        I tried to find an instance of my life that I might rationale her behaviour but I couldn't. Even to this day, I still don't understand her.










        What I like:

        I like the second part of the book, especially. It throws a lot of questions which sometimes we do not realize. What responsibilities fall for the post-war Germany generations, with the knowledge that their ancestors annihilate entire race out of hatred? And what became of those who were camp guards/commanders/army? What were they thinking when they accepted the job? I'd like the answer from the truck driver in particular, which he said "The executioners don't execute because they hate or because it is their jobs. It is only a matter of indifference. It does not matter to them whether someone died or burned to death. They would probably be thinking which football team is gonna score tonight while the prisoners screamed for help. 

        I love the ending. I think Hanna's death is important for Michael to move on with his life. He was able to move forward, no longer chasing Hanna's shadows and reminded of her love.

        Also, the scene during Michael's visit to the prison, was what made him realized his love for her is almost superficial. He loves her for her beauty, her smell, her figure. With all of that gone during her long years in the jail, he almost couldn't recognize her.

        Another thing that I like about this book is the writing style. In Part One, as it is written in the flashback of a 15-year-old Michael, the writing style was simple, almost childish. But you can feel the changing of the style in Part Two and Part Three, where more complicated stuffs and words were used.

        I also loved how the author didn't put much focus on the side characters. He mainly focus on Michael and his POV to find the answers to the questions. If there was too much spotlight on the background characters, it would probably be very messy and unlikable.

        What I don't like:

        The first part of the book, of course. Though I do realize the importance of Michale and Hanna's relationships in the book development, however I fail to understand the reason for them to have sexual relationships. Why can't they be mentor and mentee? Or teacher and a student? Or maybe just an older lady who bakes him cookies whenever he got sad.

        This exact section of the book, to me, almost felt estranged and forced. Probably did it as fan service to attract readers all over the world.

        I don't really like how we never got to read from Hanna's side. Was she truly in love with a kid two decades younger than her? What does she feel when she let the prisoners burnt to death? In my opinion, having to read this book all over again from Hanna's POV would feel right and just. Only then I can know what she was thinking when she refused to let people know she was illiterate. 





        All in all, I do like this book. 3/5 stars. I likeee the book, but not too much that it would be in my top 5 books, but enough to give it 3 stars. The book was too heavy for reading (or probably I was stupid). Too much questions, but no concrete answers. I felt like the author also don't have the answers to the questions. But just enjoy the plot, the storyline, and you'll be fine. The other reviews I read online said that this book put focus on the WWII, but it doesn't seem like that to me. Probably it was a mistake to read the online reviews first before reading it myself, because I seem to put some kind of expectation while reading (which is absurd).

        Do I recommend it? Nah. Probably go read other books while you can. But if you wanna pick it up, why not ehhe.

        Anyways thank you for reading my longggg post! 


    Continue Reading

     

    Bismillah.


    Haritu ada PBAKL, tapi aku tak pergi. Aku sebenarnya nak sangatttt pergi tapi duit tak mengizinkan (crying as a broque gurl). So I spent my weekend watching live tiktoks and scrolling em PBAKL tiktok videos. Besides finishing up my assignments, of course.

    Tapi Yumna (one of my gals) pergi, and she bought a total of 14 books! I was like, GURL YOU HAD MONEY?? Never knew her daddy's rich as heck so now I promise myself I am gon be a better friend to her (^^ yumna if you're reading this, can i know if ur bro's single?) 

    Aku pergi lah kat bilik dia, lepak-lepak jap, sambil-sambil browsing through her book haul. Dan ada satu buku yang menarik perhatian aku, iaitu buku Letters to the Lost.




    Buku ni menceritakan tentang dua remaja, Juliet dan Declan who each lost their family member. Untuk mengatasi kesedihan, Juliet meninggalkan surat demi surat di kubur ibunya. Declan pula sedang menjalani hukuman community service atas kesalahan juvana membersihkan kawasan perkuburan. Suatu hari, dia terjumpa surat yang ditinggalkan Juliet. Bermula daripada situ, mereka saling berbalas surat secara anonymous. 

    It is indeed a beautiful story about grieving. How people cope with sadness after being left by their loved ones. How to deal with the trauma. 

    It is a good book for people who got left.

    Relating to coping with death, I also lost my grandmother, but she is not like my direct grandmother. She is my grandmother's sister in law. I was practically raised by her because my parents sometimes too busy putting food on the table. If you ask me, she would be the number one person I love the most in this world.

    That's why I totally can relate to both Declan and Juliet. The self-blaming, guilt, regret and all waves of negative emotions keep washing over you and there's nothing you can do. Declan thought he contributed to killing his sister. He keeps thinking on "what if" and "if only i had done that". And he thought his mother hated him because of that. Due to his self-blaming, he wanted to kill himself. He shut himself off from the rest of the world, even including his best friend, Rev. He put up a brave face, pretends he doesn't give a shit about people.

    Meanwhile Juliet is different in some way. She also thinks she plays a part in her mother's death. Her mother works as a photographer. After her death, Juliet couldn't even touch a camera anymore. She even drops out of photography class, which is her favourite. That is her way of grieving.

    I understood Declan, but I somehow cannot seem to find a common ground with Juliet. I don't understand why she couldn't take pictures. WHY CANNOT YOU TOUCH YOUR MOTHER'S FAVOURITE THINGS? Cause if it was me, I'd sleep and bathe and eat with a Nikon camera by my side. And even if I cried, I'll be sure to cry while hugging the camera. 

    But yup, that is the thing about empathy. Even if there are times when you couldn't wrap your head around it, you have to nod and walk it off.

    I love how the whole process of grieving and letting go of a person's death and moving on from the past is beautifully captured in this book. Both Juliet and Declan struggle with this, and unintentionally hurt themselves and people around them. Their friends, their families. They all care for them and wanting to help them, but what much help can be if they don't want any help?

    Declan was never described as handsome in the book. But Juliet thinks he is a confrontational person, and his features are perfect. (Welp, that's what happens when you're in love^^)

    Overall, I truly recommend this for everyone. A great 4 stars book from me :)) [no-sidebar]




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    Bismillah.




    Tajuk: Dirgahayu
    Penulis: Helmi Effendy
    Penerbit: Mahakarya
    Tahun Terbitan: 2020

    Tak jangan salah faham. Aku bukannya nak cakap pasal dirgahayu negaraku Malaysia tercinta. Tapi ni ialah post ulasan buku yang aku baru je habis baca masa cuti sem haritu. 

    Dah lama aku beli buku ni, cuma baru ada kesempatan masa lapang untuk buka plastic wrap, duduk dan baca. Nampak tak betapa busynya aku? Hiks.

    Aku beli ketika buku ni tengah hyped kat tiktok dan twitter, which are two social medias I spent most of my time on. Tak pernah baca pun sinopsis, jadi pendapat pertama aku tentang buku ni ialah pasal pembunuhan. Tapi tak sangka, cerita ni sebenarnya lebih kepada ***SPOILER*** hantu.

    Sebagai seorang yang mempunyai daya fokus untuk jangka masa pendek, agak sukar untuk aku teruskan perasaan ingin tahu dan ingin baca pada awal pembacaan. Tapi aku paksa jugak diri aku untuk teruskan sebab dah perabih duit kut. Takkan nak biaq membaziq gitu ja.

    Dirgahayu ni nama sebuah tempat di Malaysia. Dan main characters dalam cerita ni ialah sekumpulan pelajar di sebuah universiti di Dirgahayu. Pada awalnya diorang semua ni strangers yang datang dari kelas sosial berbeza. Some are hotstuff pretty students, some are straight up nerdy nerds. Tapi disebabkan satu insiden ni diorang jadi kawan.

    Disebabkan insiden tu jugak, wujudlah Si Luncai, iaitu penyebar mesej berangkai. Setiap mesejnya jadi kenyataan apabila mesej itu disebarkan kepada ramai orang. Bermula dari situ, satu persatu kejadian pembunuhan dan berhantu menghantui warga Dirgahayu.

    Antara elemen yang membuatkan aku tertarik dengan novel ni ialah unsur-unsur lagenda contohnya karakter Tanggang yang disumpah oleh ibunya dan karakter Pontianak si hantu perempuan mengandung yang dibunuh lalu bertukar menjadi manusia apabila dipaku pada leher. Sebagai seorang yang menghargai nilai tradisi dan cereka dahulukala, aku jadi ekstra teruja bila baca part-part macam ni. Thumbs up to the author you did awrrrsomee ><

    Selain tu, aku suka dengan konsep 'masa' yang digunakan. A kembali ke masa lalu untuk selamatkan B daripada mati dibunuh yang kemudiannya akan bertukar menjadi pontianak. Oleh kerana itu, pada masa hadapan, B akan hidup tapi suratan takdir berubah.

    Yang menjadikan cerita ni bertambah menarik ialah elemen misteri dan 'thriller'. Dari awal watak Si Luncai diperkenalkan, tiada siapa yang tahu siapakah orang sebenar di sebalik sepotong nama itu dan kebenaran hanya diketahui at the end of the story. 

    Overall, aku memang suka gilers dengan novel ni. 5/5 bintang sebab berjaya buatkan aku baca in one sitting.

    Recommended? Heck yeah.


    Continue Reading

     

    Bismillah.

    gambar ihsan daripada Google, daripada laman web PTS


    Aku dah lama tak baca novel Melayu, jadi aku agak eksaited bila aku nampak ada orang nak letgo buku ni kat Twitter. Terus aku beli, sekali dengan novel Tales of Beetle the Bard (salah satu buku dalam dunia Harry Potter). 

    Aku tak letak expectation apa-apa. Cuma yang aku tahu, penulis dialah yang tulis novel Komsas tingkatan 5 aku, iaitu Bimasakti Menari. Aku suka tau novel tu, banyak kali aku khatamkan.

    Puan Sri Rahayu ni rupa-rupanya memang tulis banyak gila buku. Dia auto masuk dalam list fav authors aku lepas baca novel ni.

    Genre: Fiksyen fantasi

    Mula-mula, aku susah jugak nak hadam buku ni sebab gaya bahasanya yang terlalu baku (ni opinion aku je). Ceritanya start daripada Putera Mahkota Basilius yang nak berjalan-jalan keluar daripada istana. Lepas tu, dia cerita pasal Sula dan latar belakang dia sebagai hamba kepada Bregheda.

    Disebabkan awal tu aku tak terbiasa dengan gaya bahasa buku ni, so aku banyak kali jugaklah terpaksa baca, berhenti, baca, berhenti camtuu. Tapi once I got into the rythm and style, boleh je baca sekali jalan.

    Cerita ni mengisahkan tentang Sula, seorang hamba yang ditugaskan membuat racun, melarikan diri daripada tuannya. Dia kemudian bertemu dengan Putera Basilius di dalam hutan. Berlakunya suatu insiden yang menyebabkan Sula menjadi penyelamat kepada putera tersebut. Di situlah bermulanya persahabatan mereka. Putera raja kemudian menghadapi ancaman daripada bapa saudaranya yang ingin merampas takhta. Dengan bantuan Sula yang bersahabat dengan naga legenda, mereka berdua membuat rancangan bagi mengembalikan takhta Maharaja Tiberius kepada Basilius.


    Pembinaan dunia fantasi (worldbuilding) diolah dengan baik. Tak rasa macam everything is forced atau terlalu slow. Just nice dan korang boleh faham dan relate. Sebab apa aku kata boleh relate? Sebab penulis menggunakan kaitan dengan sejarah kita untuk menceritakan sejarah dunia buku ni. Contohnya, Madasi dan Hawais yang merupakan manusia pertama di dunia (kata kunci: Adam dan Hawa). Kemudian, mereka ada dua pasang anak kembar (anak-anak Nabi Adam). 

    Tu juga merupakan antara sebab aku enjoy baca buku ni.

    Karakter Sula aku memang minat la sebab dia ni memang strong, independent woman. Eh jap tapi dia budak lagi. 15 tahun. Such a young age to be so wise and mature. Dia ni memang berfikir dulu sebelum buat, tak ikut emosi dan matang. 

    Basilius pulak Puter Mahkota kerajaan Tiber. Dia ni berlawanan dengan Sula. Terlalu yakin dengan diri sendiri hingga perbuatannya kerap memakan diri sendiri. Berani, pandai berlawan pedang dan jenis yang agak mengikut emosi, but when the circumstances need him, he can truly be the heir to the throne; he acts like one. Contohnya, selepas dia jumpa Sula, dia akhirnya buat keputusan untuk membebaskan mimiknya untuk selama-lamanya. Keputusan yang tak pernah dibuat oleh mana-mana raja sebelum ini.

    Mebrune, guru Basilius, aku pun suka kerana aku anggap dia macam Merlin (pembantu Arthur yang bijaksana, sentiasa berada di sisi Arthur dan memberikan idea yang bijak). Tapi bagi aku, karakter dia boleh dikembangkan lagi. Agak sayang sebab dalam novel tu, dia memang betul-betul side character dan sepatutnya sebagai guru Basilius dan orang penting yang menulis sejarah kerajaan Tiber, dia sepatutnya diberikan moment untuk bersinar.

    I mean... you know what i mean... (idk. whatever)

    Jap nak letak disclaimer.

    DISCLAIMER: I'M REVIEWING BOOKS FOR FUN. I DON'T HAVE ANY SKILLS OR HAVE THE SUITABLE BRAIN LIKE ALL OTHER BOOK REVIEWERS YALL HAVE EVER COME ACROSS.


    Haaaa baru tenang guwe nak mengulas.

    Plot, jalan cerita, best. Part perang tu pun diceritakan dengan baik. Kat sini penulis berjaya menceritakan bagaimana Basilius sememangnya layak bergelar raja (dia mengetuai bala tentera) dan Angas sememangnya pengecutttt

    Ending? Aku sukaaaaa. It's kinda like bittersweet. Kalau ending Sula endgame dengan Basilius, it would make no sense at all. The whole book would be ruined because that would shatter her principles. She wants to be free, living a new life and see beyond the horizon.


     Overall, I give this book: 4.5 out of 5 stars.


    Minus 0.5 stars because, well, how many books/stories I read/heard about a true heir giving up the throne and something else (in this book's case: other people's memories of Sula) to save a person's life?

    Welp, a lot let me tell you that. It's kinda not cliche, but still the storyline's predicted.

    Anyway, give this book a read yeorobunnnn. Yall will love it trust meeeee




    Continue Reading

     

    Bismillah.




    Buku ni aku beli preloved punya, RM8 daripada someone yang memang tengah let go buku-buku kepunyaannya. Aku dah pernah tengok movie ni dulu (ada adaptasi filem), masa aku kecik lagi sebab novel ni dah lama sebenarnya. Therefore, aku tahu jalan cerita dan aku tahu ending buku ni. Inilah puncanya aku susah nak habiskan bacaan buku ni, aku keep on baca sikit put down baca sikit put down sebab aku dah tahu cerita dia macam mana hahhahaha. I don't wanna spoil ya, but it's a good ending.

    Buku ni ditulis menggunakan POV orang ketiga. Latar masa ialah ketika Perang Dunia Ke-2. Watak utama, Bruno ialah anak seorang christian Commandant yang berumur 9 tahun, sedih kerana family diorang terpaksa berpindah ke Out-With, kawasan terpencil jauh dari rumah mereka di Berlin kerana tugas ayahnya.

    Dah nama pun budak, so mestilah dia bosan sebab takde kawan. Kawasan tu bukan rumah perumahan. Fyi, it's a Jewish camp. I don't know what it's called, tapi tu tempat yang diorang (christians) kumpul Jews. Bruno ada kakak bernama Gretel, tapi biasala siblings diorang tak main sama-sama.

    So Bruno ni memang suka explore tau. One day dia decide nak explore kawasan luar rumah and that's how he met Shmuel.

    The rest of the story, yall have to read for yourself. Or maybe watch the movie i guess.

    Tapi berbanding movie dan buku, aku lagi suka buku. Aku dapat menyelami perasaan Bruno dan the cruel Holocaust.

    Aku rasa macam nak cerita pasal Holocaust for those clueless peeps out there, but not in the post. Someday kut.


    Buku ni start dengan Bruno came home from school and found that the maid, Maria, was in his room, packing up his stuffs. Dia pun tanya mak dia kenapa ni? Mak dia cakap la yang diorang kena pindah sebab kerja ayah. Then the story unfolds yada yadaa.



    heartbreaking :''(





    Overall, i give this book 3.5 out of 5 stars.

    Minus 1.5 stars because at times, I couldn't comprehend Bruno's actions. Like that time Shmuel conveyed his sad memories, and Bruno said he couldn't understand why Shmuel was sad. I mean, okay I get it he was a child. But I don't think... I dunno does a child act like that? He was smart and brilliant-should've been able to take a hint.

    Plus, Bruno doesn't know what a Jew is. HELLO?? Your dad is a commandant for the love of flowers (this is my style of curse word hehe) how could you not know what a Jew is?!!

    And Shmuel, he was always sitting there in front of the fence every evening. Bro didn't have to work? How's that even possible?

    I love how the story is really easy to read and understand. The author didn't put a lot of difficult words in the book so I didn't have to trouble myself googling all that hard stuffs.

    But the story was good nonetheless. I read a lot of critics that reviewed this books as a false truth to Holocaust education, but hey it is FICTIONAL. A historical fiction. What you expect?


    Do I recommend this? YES.

    Would I reread this book? Definitely. But not that soon. Maybe sometime in the future because I got a lot of things to do.

    The ending was a good one you know. Because it didn't tell in exact details what happened to Bruno and Shmuel, but well you know what happen *winkk


    By the way, ni buku pertama aku baca tahun 2022. Aku target nak baca 20 buah buku (sempena my age) hehe. Pray for me yeorobunnn~~



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