Masayume

Bismillah.

I know it's already the end of February, but you know what they said >,< it's better late than nevahhhhh

Let's do my 2025 reading wrapped! 

In 2025, my goal was to read a total of 31 books, and it had to have at least one non-fiction book. And I did it! Yeayy!!

I have been enjoying reading books since I was 5, and back in primary school, I was wholly devoted to my buku NILAM. Literally won't go anywhere without it. I loved the ritual of excitedly finishing a book and having a sense of pride seeing the pages all filled up (yes I'm a nerd like that). However as I grew into my teenage years and adulthood, I sort of forgot the introspective action of documenting your reads and jotting down your inner thoughts. It's honestly such a good way to not only remember what kind of books you've read, but also to understand yourself and build your own character and mind. 

Since around 2021 or so, I started tracking my reading again, cause I felt like I wasn't reading much and my love for books faded a bit. Sometimes, I stayed consistent with all the trackings. Some other times, and perhaps most of the times, I forgot about this hobby of mine and drifted away lolll.

Anyway, 2025 was the year I actually stayed trulllyyyy on track. Well, I got strayed some mid-year, but I managed to achieve the target nonetheless!

To get down to it, let's start with my best and worst read of the year:

 

I honestly never have read anything as complete as The Woman Destroyed. I really ought to make a separate post about this book, but if you're curious, it is comprised of 3 short stories about womanhood. The first one, a woman and her husband in their 60s, narrated in her POV, as they faced the challenging phase of parenthood; their son having a different opinion from them, and how she felt like her husband no longer loves her. The second story is called The Monologue but I dislike it so much so let's not bother about it. The last short story, The Woman Destroyed, is about the wife being cheated on by her husband. She allows him to continue the affair, clinging to the comfort of self-deception, telling herself  that 'he will return to her'. Eventually, the affair consumes her being and sense of self and she ended up.... a wreck. Her story is not a pitiful one, I gather, but rather a tragic portrait of what happens when we abandon our own clarity and self-respect for the illusion of love.

Meanwhile we have The Housemaid is Watching as my worst read. It is the final installment in The Housemaid trilogy. It was soooo baddddd everything felt like they have no idea what they are doing and just put pieces and bits together and pray to God it's be okay. It was not.

My most read authors! I have always known Agatha Christie, but I had never read her works until last year. They are brilliant.

To summarize quickly my reading journey in 2025:

[opinions might differ in a span of a month or so lol]

I finished my degree last August, and had taken two part time jobs during the two months gap between August and October, when we had our convocation. The main motivation in working jobs and getting up so freaking early in the morning was due to my convocation fees and other miscellanous fees (photographer, makeups, outfits, shoes etc). I didn't ask money from my parents cause I feel like, this is my day, and I want it to be perfect, and I want it to be my own money.

The uni charged us RM300, hat and gown and 2 pictures included. Bloody ridiculous, i'd say. But what else do you expect from a private uni? The pictures turned out holy beautiful, and i look like an influencer typa face, so i'd say it was money well-spent. I would LOVEEE to share the picture here but in this era of digital perverts and AI? Um no thanks.

But now that convocation's over, I have no motivation in earning money, and hence, I've been sleeping lazily at home in the last.... 2 and a half months.... seriously, i woke up late, cooked rice (the rice cooker did the job, actually), watched some movie, opened the linkedin, saw two people posted new achievements, smashed the laptop to the wall, take a before-asar typa nap, wake up and pray asar, went outside, help sweep the yard or sth, feed the cats, after isyak it's family movie time then play tiktok until i fell asleep.

Anyway, back to the original topic.

What do I feel about being jobless you ask? Honestly, it wasn't all that bad, if we're being real here. Minus the wealthy fat bank acc, ofc. But unless you're a shopping addict, you'll be fine. Take a look at me for instance. When was the last time I bought something online?................. okay, last week, I suppose. (I bought a few preloved books, and yes, I asked for my mom's money.)

I need to put a disclaimer here, that not everyone is the same as me, and therefore everyone else's feelings are valid and that I am very lucky and privileged I come from a family with a stable financial earnings. We are not wealthy; welp, my mom's a retired teacher and dad's a driving instructor (basic salary income). But we make do with whatever we have so it's fine I don't work. I do not put a burden on my parents from me being jobless (or so i'd like to convince myself HAHAHAHHA).

The downside of being jobless: you start to question your worth, debating which was the cause of it? Was it my stupidity that didn't earn me a first-class degree or was it cause I didn't join competitions? Or it's me hi i'm the problem it's me?? (cue taylor swift)

The downside of being jobless: the feeling hits the worst when you open Instagram and LinkedIn :) funny how ironic it is when LinkedIn was supposed to be our go-to site for job hunting, and now I have to bite my tongue watching everyone else—literally everyone else beside me secure a job. That's why I have long since stopped being on Instagram lol. I just keep tiktok and threads and twitter.

Okay okay. Now that I've written it loud and clear, let me clear something up. I am *not* jealous of my friends who have gotten their first job, or second, or wthvr achievements. I don't have hati busuk like that okayyyyy. I'm happyyy for them, but it pains me when I see it cause it reminds me of what I am not - perfect. Please don't say something like "gosh why can't you be happy for them?" bij i am. This is an overcomplicated feeling and it's something you won't understand unless you experience it yourself.

The downside of being jobless: societal pressure. My family doesn't do much pressure, presumably because they've seen me cried before (long story short, uncle jokingly called me out why am i wasting rice at home and it hits me so deeeeeeep in the guts i ran to my room and cried LOLLL I'M SUCH A BABYYYY gosh i hate myself). But people around the neighbourhood? Uncles and aunts??? Babe everytime my uncle comes to visit I fear my stomach is turning inside out. 

The downside of being jobless: not having money for travel. (and all the cons of not having your own money)

The slightly less brutal side of being jobless: NO STRESS!!!! NO CRYING LATE AT NIGHT NO NERVOUS SYSTEMS BREAKING DOWN IN CASE I MISSED A DEADLINE OR FORGOTTEN A TASK!!!! BLOODY HELLL THIS IS SOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN BEING A STUDENT. Yall have no idea how blissful it is to waking up each day and not headache-ing myself into solving freaking damn engineering problems, calculus stuff nobody understands except Isaac Newton himself, *cough* Transport Phenomena *cough* (yea i hate this subject, barely pass it), and all those 1001 other things I shuddered just by thinking about it.

God it feels so good to write all em feelings down. Haha.

Anyway, my target is to secure a GOOD JOB WITH REASONABLE SALARY AND GOOD JOBSCOPES before Raya. Cause me being me, i'm scared of judgmental society, so........ by raya, i hope i have gotten a good job offer ^^ please pray for me guyssss (i'm on my knees) (i need every prayer possible)

Till next time, bye!! I'll try to post more stuffs this year hehe :)))) think of it as a digital journaling

Bismillah.

My first corporate job interview was shortly after my final semester ended. The message came to me during final exam season, via Whatsapp. I had been job hunting for around a month then, and a surge of excitement came over me as I got the message. The process had been nerve-wrecking and anxiety-inducing, especially since my relatives kept smiling at me, patting me on the shoulder as they said "Ni grad engineer mesti kerja dengan P***" over the last Raya Haji. 

The job position was as a production engineer at a local company in Port Klang. I had mass-applied through various platforms, and this one I had applied at Jobstore. In case you're wondering; yes, it's not a typo, it's Jobstore not Jobstreet.

As I had said, I had been long job hunting by then, and was SUPER EXCITED to get this message. I instantly said yes I can go there physically meet you there at the company no probs yeay :)

Here's the thing: It IS a problem, actually. I just didn't think it through.

JOB HUNTING 101: 

1. REQUEST FOR ONLINE INTERVIEW (IF POSSIBLE)

I reside in Terengganu. To go all the way to Klang just for an interview, which, let's be real, I don't even know if I would've gotten it or not, is **ridiculous**. And this is for a local, SME company. I'm not insinuating that smaller companies is low standard or whatever - no i'm not. (though i would love to talk about my opinion on SME vs MNC, but let's leave that for another day, for now)

I'm saying that, as long as we can save money, then why not? By all means, if you have extra money to spend, go ahead.

All in all, it's just too costly. But I did not think it through and just said yes when they asked me to come.

I did learn the hard (and expensive) way. But you don't have to.

Disclaimer: This does not applicable to interview emails CLEARLY stating that it is a face-to-face interview.

JOB HUNTING 101:

2. DRESS YOURSELF PRETTILY (BUT NOT OVER-THE-TOP)

This is very, very important. Make sure your clothes are ironed, formal or semi-formal would do, and wear shoes! For girls, wear makeup. I don't care if you have never touched makeup or what, but for that one day in your life, wear it. Put some lip gloss on, powder your face. A senior once told me, "dress as that the interviewer would fall in love with you". Some might disagree with this, but this is what I hold on to. 

You wanna make a good impression? You want them to like you? You want them to hire you? Dress prettily.

"But I want to keep my face natural. They should hire me based on my qualifications."

Girl I hate to break it to you. But they won't hire you just because you're a first-class graduate (which, congratulations!). There are MANY other first-class grads out there. Oh you're a club president? Well so do 3000 other applicants. You won awards both in sports and academics? Yeah they've seen it in 5000 others. You are active in clubs while maintaining dean list every semester? You're not the only one babe.

So what will discern you from the rest of the applicants?
Attractiveness, likability. 

Here's the thing. We are humans; me, you, the panels. Humans are bound to be attracted to pretty things, people who can speak eloquently, dress well, who can catch our eyes in the sea of crowds. 

But in me saying this, do not be mistaken. Please don't wear revealing clothes (ie: off-shoulders, miniskirts etc) for your interview. LOLL 

Wear something different. I read somewhere, a hiring manager remembers a guy in blue blazer, not because he has the most skills, but because he's the only blue one in the throngs of men-in-black. Therefore, colour plays a significant role, too. If possible, try to avoid black (boring!).

JOB HUNTING 101:

3. PREPARE FOR THE QUESTIONS

Study the job requirements. What typa skills do they need? If you have time, practise it first. They might suddenly give you a laptop and ask you to organize the Excel data and give them a visualized dashboard in half an hour.

Practise both general and technical questions. Here comes the benefit of living in artificial intelligence era. My go-to tip is to paste the job requirements in the GPT, and ask them for a "proper, sounds like me" answer. Then, I improvise it to suit my liking.

Don't ask me for the correct answer, lol i'm not a hiring manager.

Anyway, you must remember: You WILL be nervous, and you WILL stutter; especially if they ask you a question you did not prepare. BUT remember to stay collected, take a breath, and LOOK THEM IN THE EYE. DO NOT FIDGET WITH YOUR HANDS. 

If you couldn't muster up your answer on the spot, say "I apologize. Can you repeat the question?" And while they repeat the same thing, force your brain to work on it. You got this! Okay?

Smile firmly! Depending on your facial features, practise your smile! Do not smile showing your teeth all the time, okay? That's creepy and just so weirdddd. Smile firmly, confidently! And occassionally, nod your head as if you understand whatever the heck they are talking about (if you want to, you can ask to improve your understanding).

If the questions asked in English, answer in English. But if they already say "you can speak campur malay english" then go ahead.

You can move your hands up in the air as you talk, but not too much and the gesture must not be big and overdone.

JOB HUNTING 101:

4. ASK THEM QUESTION

Usually, and most of the time, at the end of the session they will say "do you have any question for us?"

Do not be timid. ASK. Oh my God I cannot stress enough the importance of asking them a question. It shows you are proactive, confident, and am not afraid to ask questions (kinda obvious, duh).

My go-to question usually would be "May I know how does the company support the employees' growth and skill development?" - showing that you care, you are serious about career growth, and this will make them *unconsciously* try to appeal to you.

I'm typing this at 1 o'clock in the morning lmaooo. I have an early morning tomorrow so I guess I'll wrap this post here xx

p/s: at the present, I'm still struggling to find a job. Ironic, i know; giving out advices while I'm unemployed lol. But to whoever reading this, please pray for me so that I can land a good job offer (good salary, bearable jobscope, nice boss and colleagues) SOOOOONNNN. I know my blog only has, like, 5 readers, but each prayer counts, right? hehe

I wrote this post as a means to spread awareness about an oral disease I was diagnosed with recently, one yall probably never heard of.

Periodontitis is an inflammation and chronic infection in the gingiva (gum), symptoms include excessive bleeding during brushing and bad breath. It's caused by a specific type of bacteria that proliferates in response to the accumulation of plaque or calculus at the gum-tooth junction, which, over time, leads to progressive destruction of the periodontal supporting tissues and may compromise one or multiple teeth.

In simpler terms: bila makanan terlekat di celah gigi tidak dibersihkan, lama-lama ia akan berkumpul dan seterusnya membentuk karang gigi, dan bakteria akan muncul lalu menyerang gusi menyebabkan keadaan gusi tidak sihat dan sering berdarah.

So here comes the next question....... when did i first start having the symptom?

It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment when it started, but i remember going to a study camp during primary school, and while spitting out my toothpaste foam, there was a tinge of red colour. My friend had looked at me and said, "Ew that's so gross!" I shrugged it off though.

Throughout my teens I occassionally noticed the bleeding while brushing (still shrug it off, duh). And in my early 20s, at a certain point, the bleeding became so frequent that I had to brush my teeth twice or thrice at once, just to get rid of the bleeding and the smell.

This was the point where I thought it wasn't normal anymore. I went to the dentist a few times in the span of the years (yes I know we should do scaling twice a year but that's on me ig), and each time, I'd done scaling and asked the doctor why and what should I do. Their responses were always: "Oh gums bleeding is quite normal. You just need to frequently floss and continue brushing at the bleeding parts regularly". As if I hadn't done just that, LOL.

I do floss, sometimes regularly, sometimes hardly. Consistency is hardly my thing, you know.

Earlier this year, I had been to a dentist in my local neighbourhood to get a consultation on having braces. I thought about it, and I wanna get braces. My teeth are on the protruding side, or what us locals call as 'jongang'.

The consultation went just as usual, and the doctor told me to get an X-ray. For those who don't know, you can get you X-rays at either government hospital (cheap, maybe around RM60-70), or if you want a faster track just go to private clinics. I went for the latter, hella expensive - RM 200 for both lateral and cephalograms. 

After getting my X-rays, I went to the clinic once again, this time to do the braces mould and some further assessment. This, still, was fine. The next day I was told to come again, for additional scaling. After scaling, doctor told me he fear that I might not be suitable to wear braces at the moment, as there had been some bone loss around my teeth, and a few sites were quite deep.

"Tulang gigi awak dah turun. Dalam jugak ni, around 6 mm. Selain tu, ada few parts atas bawah kiri kanan yang turun, tapi tak seteruk yang atas kiri."

He went to explain, bila ada karang gigi, gusi akan menjadi tak sihat. Tulang gigi akan turun, dan lubang yang muncul akibat tulang turun akan diisi oleh gusi yang tak sihat tadi. (or something like that. Idk, I'm not the doctor her.e I forget most of the things he said lolll)

But the worst horrible thing he said was that: if I didn't get treatment, my teeth gonna fall out by the age 30

Brooooo I mean, 30 years old???? As in, my prime and beautiful age???? Ngl that scares the hell outta me.

So he referred me to the local periodontitist doctor; the doctor that specialized in periodontital care. This was about one month after. As this time it was done in the government clinic, I had to pay RM20 (expensive because I was referred to from a private clinic. If you are referred to from government clinic, then it will be cheaper).

The doctor assessed me, and it's a good thing I did my X-rays beforehand, because they needed it. They diagnosed me with the periodontitis disease and proceeded to explain very nicely. 

They also told me the correct ways to brush teeth- the circular motion method, and told me to focus on the gums and the bleeding parts. I also learned to use the interdental brush.

At the next appointment, they applied the numbing gel around my teeth, injected the antibiotic (pain level: 4/10), then prescribe me with two antibiotic types, and a painkiller. I had to take the medicine for a week, three times a day. By Day 5, he said, the bacteria would die (hopefully). If not, then....... surgery he said........... let's hope it doesn't get to that.....

I have finished all my meds for now, and the next appointment is set in two months. Will keep ya updated.

Overall, I would rate the process 10/10. Smooth, easy and nice doctors. And here's the thing I have learned, if I didn't decide to get braces, then only God knows what's gonna happen to my poor teeth. I was also kinda frustrated that the previous dental clinics I went to were unable to diagnose that. I know all dentists have the same knowledge, but few have the same skills and experiences. I'm afraid that this take might be controversial and you might hate me for it: but not all dentists are equal. It's always ALWAYS good to get a second opinion. (This doesn't necessarily applicable to my case, but it happened to a girl on TikTok, who, btw, recommended the braces dentist to me)

AND!!!! Oh my God this is so important! If you or your kids are experiencing symptoms like I did - bleeding gums while brushing, or bleeding gums just whenever, bad breath - pleaseee PLEASEEEE see a periodontitist specialized doctor, okay? Don't put it off and let it gets worse, fr.

Anyways, please pray I get rid of this disease soooooooner so I can finally get my braces on! Thank you yeorobun, till next time! xoxo

**i didn't put any pictures in this post because I'm too lazy to find it in my phone, but I will do it once I'm diligent enough

**anddddd if you live in Terengganu and want the dental clinic name that I went for the braces, let me knowwww. So far, his was the cheapest compared to others that I had surveyed.