Bismillah. 

Aku tahu benda ni macam bodoh bunyinya. No offense, tapi memang bodoh. Masa aku tengah tulis benda ni, perasaan aku bercampur sebab rasa macam ehh bodohnya akuu hishh. HAISHHH

Okay. Jadi memandangkan aku mula belajar pada era covid, kitorang memang takde face-to-face class sampai sekarang. Just online classes je. Sebenarnya, kalau ikutkan perancangan awal uni, ada kelas face-to-face untuk lab programming pada Minggu Ke-6, tapi seminggu sebelum tu, ada sorang student yang disahkan positif covid. Jadi f2f tu terpaksa ditangguhkan. Lepas macam dah reda, covid pun berkurang, diorang plan nak buat f2f minggu keberapa entah. Tapii lepas tu ada staf pulak yang disahkan positif. Last-last, memang cancel terus kelas f2f tu hahahaha.

During classes, kitorang memang tak bukak kamera sebab mengambil kira internet connection kat tempat pelajar-pelajar lain dan pensyarah. Some of us stay at UTP, some went back to their home. Pensyarah semuanya kena WFH. Cuma untuk certain circumstances, contohnya test, kitorang akan bukak webcam dan masa tulah baru macam, "ooo ni ke classmate aku" "oo dia nilah ng ehh" gitchewww

nak dijadikan cerita, there's this one guy >,< ofc it's a guy duhh. his name issss ok im not gonna tell ya. Let's name him Z. Z ni selalu satu group dengan aku. Coincidence okayy sebab group tutor eng ngan dte project diassign oleh lecturer. Tapi group lab programming tu memang kebetulan sama sebab yang tu boleh pilih nak group apa. 

Start chat kat Whatsapp sebab nak tanya dia nama penuh apa. Aku dulu yang tanya, memandangkan aku setiausaha untuk projek DTE. Aku tanya dengan nada professional okayyyy (wkwkwkwkw) tapi dia balas memang sempoii gila hahahshshs macam dah kenal lama. First impression aku macam "eh hahaha budak ni mesti jenis suka hiburkan orang"

okay habis kat situ je conversation. Lepas tu aku perasan dalam grup kelas, dia selalu gak respon. Biasanya Shane (class rep) yang menghidupkan grup tu, then dia (Z) antara yang respon. 

Next conversation, masa lab 1 programming. Masa tu aku ada tanya kat grup tutor programming camne diorang buat, then dia jawab sebab dia punya soalan sama macam aku punya. Aku pun pm dia nak mintak tengok camne dia buat sebab output soalan tu panjang gila. Lagilah masa tu kena buat handwritten. Mampus aku nak salin output panjangg camtu.

Lepas tu kitorang memang sembang pasal lab (sebab dia bijakk gila TT). Ada one time tu kitorang sembang sampai around pukul 1 or 2 pagi. Sometimes ada jugak sembang pasal hal lain. Dia selalu online sekejap-sekejap sebab main game katanya.

Aku ni soft girl, tahu takk. Aku macam walaupun tak kenal, tapi macam hm kiyut la dia ni ehhehe. WHAT THE HECKK GURLL dont judge me i'm stuwwpid i know. 

Semalam, masa aku nak pergi dinner dengan rumet ngan kawan rumet aku, aku jumpa dia. No sebenarnya Z tu schoolmate dengan diorang, so diorang ajak Z lepak dinner sekali. So kitorang pun dinner lah satu meja.

JUST SO YOU KNOW, I AM A VERYYY SHYYYY INTROVERTTT GIRLLL. SO GUESS WHAT HAPPEN?

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nothing happens laa ahahhahha

okay i bought revive drink bottle sebab actually nak beli lassi, tapi ramai sangat orang beratur so beli air kat mart jelah. Aku makan roti nan cheese, and bila nak minum air, aku nak bukak la bottle cap tu tapi tak boleh sebab yelah tangan kotor kan. Mintak tolong member aku pun dia takleh buat ahhahshs. So penyelesaiannya aku pun bangun la nak pergi basuh tangan kat sinki. Bila balik kat meja tu, aku nak bukak cap ehh dah terbukak. Aku tak syak apa-apa, terus minum ehhee.

Sambil aku minum, barulah aku macam EHHH SAPE YANG TOLONG BUKAK NI? TAK MUNGKIN MEMBER AKU SEBAB TANGAN DIA KOTOR GAKK HISHSHSSHSH 

Z makan pakai sudu, so hmmm omggg butterflies running in my stomach!

Aku still simpan botol revive tu wkwkwk. It's just my assumption that it might be him yang tolong bukakkan cap. But I swear i dont wanna know the truth hehehe

On the way back to our room, rumet aku, Nik, cerita la yang Z ni ada girlfriend (WHATT?!!). "Actually dia takde girlfriend pun, cuma macam skandal la zaman sekolah dulu. Tapi Z tak deny pun hehehe"

Hati aku broken to pieces tau masa ni. 

Sampai kat bilik, dengan kuasa seorang perempuan, aku stalk ig mamat tu and the so-called-his-scandal. Okay she's so pretty and sporty. I know that Z dulu seorang ketua rumah sukan kat sekolah, that means he is sporty. The opposite of me. And that girl punya dp looks like she belongs to the sporty cool hot girls category. So glad dia tak belajar kat sini hshshsh. She currently studies at UPM, which is also top university, which means that she isn't just sporty. She is also brilliant at academics, which, again, i am not. That's like, a thousand reasons to like her and not to like me :'(

I slept early last nite bcs of the depression I brought upon myself. And today, I can't seem to get anything done. Aku luahkan kat twitter personal aku, watched movies and kdramas but all the time, i cant seem to focus. HIS NAME IS WRITTEN ON MY LOVELY BRAIN SO HOW DO I STAY FOCUSED?

Penat gila hidup gini. Rasanya ni first time aku broken, THIS BROKEN. Few months ago, i got my heart broke by my old crush (it was so messed up that time). He was getting married.oh god. Did i have too many crushes? hahahahah that one was an old one, so not valid. He was 4 years older than me, my senior back in high school. I dont wanna talk about him bcs he's already married. Plus, he didn't even knew my existance.

Anyway, I wrote this on my blog because I thought it would help me to clear up my mind. If not much, a little bit should be okay. I just hate feeling this way, because he obviously didnt feel the same about me. I apparently know he didnt even save my number (even after we talked quite a number of times). Not that i save his, anyway. I dont like saving people's numbers.

Looks like this entry is coming to an end. Please pray for my love life (wkwkw) and my study since next week will be our last week of attending classses. Then, there will be study week and after that, EA week. Our finals for this sem. Please pray for our success! Thankiuu!